Kratos, Aloy, and a car will join your favorite streaming service

“Seen it… seen it… I ain’t even gonna look at it” It’s quite common for streaming service subscribers to lose more time scrolling through an offered collection than by actually watching something. Most of the content is plain hot garbage, not of interest to you, or already on your ‘watched’ list. But if you’re a hardcore PlayStation fanboy/girl/thing, things might change. Three of Sony’s biggest IPs are being televised and pushed toward streaming services. But there is that one thing…

But hey, let’s start with the good news first. The three IPs were talking about aren’t the shabbiest: God of War, Horizon, and… Gran Turismo. Aight, I can imagine Kratos looking mighty fine on your 85″ Nanocell LGBTQHDAMOLEDTV+ and Aloy will surely attract some fans, too. But Gran Turismo? Really? It’s an effing driving sim. What’s great about a tv show regarding driving the perfect lap time?

I mean, sure… there’s Drive to Survive, that Netflix show that made Formula 1 booming in NASCAR country. But that had nothing to do with the cars nor the races. That was all about the drivers and their personal vendettas, even if Netflix messed with the chronology of the footage to juice things up. Gran Turismo doesn’t even have drivers with faces! Next thing you’re gonna tell me is that the GT show will only feature premium rides when you opt for the highest tier of your subscription. And don’t complain when the series isn’t available for 48 hours after launch, okay?

Pfew… that had to get out. Unfortunately, this is the part where the real bad news begins. You see, to watch both good series (not GT), you’ll have to subscribe to multiple streaming services. To divide the PlayStation IP cake evenly, Amazon Prime gets to air God of War and Netflix gets Horizon. And Gran Turismo? Maybe HBO Max will take it. Or Disney+, but that might compete with Cars.

Now, let’s hope that it won’t suck like Uncharted, which technically ain’t bad if you’re not familiar with the games whatsoever. Oh, and let’s not forget about The Last of Us coming to HBO, that Ghost of Tsushima movie, a Twisted Metal series, and that Jak and Daxter project that’s in the works.

Goddamn, Sony. Ain’t nobody got time for that!