WARNING! Smoking causes career opportunities

Smoking is bad for you. Let’s put that first. Lung cancer, emphysema… it just ain’t worth it. Not to mention changing your nicotine brown wallpaper regularly. But if smoking is still good for anything, it’s a career in voice acting at Ubisoft, because they seem to have a thing for a raw-edged voice nowadays.

Just ask Shohreh Aghdashloo, whose name also somewhat resembles an inveterate smoker’s roar. Shohreh has a very distinctive voice and that makes her perfect for a voice-over job in Assassin’s Creed Mirage. Beautiful, that deep, dark brown voice that reminds me of my aunt who eats a fistful of heavy tobacco every morning.

So you see, every disadvantage has its advantage. And just to be clear, I’m not saying that Shohreh be suckin’ on them cancer sticks to get to her iconic voice. I mean, we all thought that Steve-O smoked twelve packs of Lucky Strike a day to get his raspy vocals, and then it turned out to be some weird shit with his vocal cords.

Anyways, if you also aspire to have a crackling voice that sounds like you’re on Baghdad’s mobile phone network when you’re making a phone call, there are options for that. I’m just sayin’. Again, not recommending the smoking thing though. Think of your delicate sheer curtains.