Sloclap’s ass-kicking game Sifu officially revealed

As some of you may know, Sloclap – the studio behind Absolver – has been sitting on a secret egg for quite a while now. For a couple of years, the Parisian dev has been brooding on a project, and nobody has even gotten a glimpse of this mysterious egg. As of yesterday, tiny cracks have emerged and the project seems to be hatching. The chickabiddy’s name is Sifu, and it’ll kick your ass when it’s ready to fly the coop.

The game was shown extensively during last night’s State of Play, PlayStation’s digital ‘look at what PlayStation is going to offer in the future’-event. The reveal trailer shows us what to expect from Sifu, and from what I’ve seen, it’s all about a guy beating people to a pulp. You get to do it as a young guy, a middle-aged guy, and an old fart, which is good for inclusiveness. We wouldn’t want to see senior citizens post death threats on socials because they go unrepresented.

According to a trustworthy source, ‘Sifu tells the story of a young Kung Fu student who has spent their life training for a day of reckoning after the brutal murder of their entire family by a mysterious assassination squad’. The only way to deal with this horrible tragedy is to introduce people to your knuckles and the soles of your feet. If this doesn’t spike your interest, you’re totally a Kung-Fool.

Nobody really knows when exactly Sifu will emerge from its dojo, but according to the trailer above, it’s going to be somewhere in 2021. If you only own an Xbox, you’re shit out of luck though. Sifu is only launching on PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, and Epic Games Store for PC. Sorry. Even this announcement packs a punch for Xboxers worldwide, and I’m making it worse with a digital kick in the gonads.