Company of Heroes 2 makes warfare cheap by being free

Waging war has quite a few disadvantages. It’s expensive, costs many lives, and you actually have to venture outdoors and interact with people. Even the ones you hate. If only there was a way to take all these hurdles away… But wait, there is! SEGA is bringing the art of war to your PC for free by granting you access to Company of Heroes 2 and Company of Heroes 2: Ardennes Assault. Thanks, Sarge!

No, I’m not Blue Falconing you, Company of Heroes 2 and Ardennes Assault are free and yours to keep if you download them on the double. Both the game and the expansion are offered free of charge for the remainder of this weekend and coming Monday. Essentially, this deal takes away all the previously summed up disadvantages, killing three Expectants with one round.

How so? Let’s backtrack a bit. The first disadvantage was war being expensive. Free isn’t expensive. Period. Disadvantage two: war costs many lives. By playing Company of Heroes 2, the only life that’ll be lost is your social life, if it wasn’t already lost to begin with. Number three talked about going outdoor and interacting. Given that this ties in with number two, your educated guesses should already tell you something. Since you probably won’t have to commute to get to a PC running Steam, there’s no need for going outside. And best of all, you don’t have to anyone since the game offers you a singleplayer experience.

So what the Sam Hill are you waiting for, you goddamn Rainbow! Get off your lazy ass and plonk it down at your desk, fire up Steam, and add Company of Heroes 2 and Ardennes Assault to your library ASAP. If you miss out on this one, you’ve truly FUBAR’d it.

DISMISSED!

P.S.: What is it with the free games on Steam this weekend?