Wahoo, Mario wins! Bowser goes to prison for 3 years (for real)

The Mighty Nintendo has finally prevailed in an ongoing struggle against its nemesis Bowser. Gary Bowser, that is. The wealthy Team-Xecuter hacker – who gathered fame by selling devices used for playing illegal ROMs on Nintendo’s consoles – got sentenced to three years behind bars. Wahoo!

Guess who’s happy with that outcome, even though it’s 2 years less than demanded. Uhhu, Nintendo is. Thanks to the hard work of countless law enforcers and general prosecutors, Bowser now resides where he belongs. In a nice castle with barred windows. Without the company of Princess Peach, though he might pick up that nickname in the shower room.

” In particular, Nintendo would like to thank the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Homeland Security Investigations (HSI) of the Department of Homeland Security, the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Western District of Washington, the U.S. Department of Justice’s Computer Crime & Intellectual Property Section and the Justice Department’s Office of International Affairs for their significant contribution and assistance.”

To be clear, has already served some of his jail time. He got arrested in September 2020 and pled guilty to 2 of the 11 felony counts he was charged with. He even offered to pay Nintendo $4.5 million buckeroos for his committed crimes against the Japanese giant. And if you believe that’s hardly enough, he also got to pay them another 10 million in a separate civil case ruling.

If this teaches us one thing, it’s the following: don’t fuck with Nintendo. They might come across as family-friendly and super giddy, but damn. Once you cross Mario, you’re in for a world of hurt. He’s still a Class-A felon, remember?