The people have spoken: Netflix’s Resident Evil sucks!

It might be one of the hardest things to do nowadays; making a Resident Evil adaptation that doesn’t blow. Whether it’s cheesy dialogues, piss-poor animations, or just horrible casting, nobody seems to get it right. So imagine Netflix taking a shot at it. The ever-inclusive and ultra-woke Netflix, of all companies. That’s basically a recipe for disaster. And whaddayaknow… Netflix’s Resident Evil is being eaten alive by the viewers. Well… the ones turning in their (not-so) modest opinion at Rotten Tomatoes, that is.

And as with every Resident Evil adaptation, the million-dollar question is “why?” for both the spectators and Netflix. The broadcasting station might want to know if it’s the casting, the story, the visuals, or a combination of those three. In the meanwhile, the viewers just want to know why Netflix had to go all woke again.

And while I’m not necessarily against changing things up a bit to represent the current society we live in, I can’t completely deny the fact that weird choices were made. By the way, if you haven’t seen any of the series yet and still want to without reading spoilers, you might want to turn around now.

Are they gone? Good. So… Black Albert Wesker. Who would’ve thought that would go down well? Even the established actor Lance Reddick can’t save that poor decision. Granted, seeing him in his ultimate Albert Wesker form – a.k.a. low-budget Blade – did make me giggle. But that doesn’t take away that Wesker is supposed to be this whiter than white killing machine. And that clone story at the end? Puh-lease.

The same goes for the almighty but heavily under-guarded Umbrella and their lesbian CEO Evelyn Marcus. While Evelyn is doing her girl-on-girl yoga, two teens are having no trouble hacking into the biggest pharmaceutical company, unleashing hell. For a lab that’s harboring confidential experiments and a zeroing Rottweiler (because naming a zombie a zero is cool), security sure fails miserably at Umbrella.

Now don’t get me wrong here. I’m not in it for the sake of trashing. But if you really delve deep into the entire series, you can’t unsee and unhear certain things. Things like Jade’s corn rows, for instance. Where does she find the time to braid those? She can’t spend time with her daughter because of work, but somehow, her hair should look tip-top when she’s investigating zero behavior. But hey, I get it. Proud to be a black survivor, I guess. #NoRacism, even though that clearly doesn’t go up for the vegan Wesker sisters who get to squeeze a few “fuck white people”-like comments out in between the edgy dialogues.

Meet the Weskers in Netflix's Resident Evil

And what about the constant intrusion of “moody” pop music? I mean, WTF, Netflix? Have you actually reviewed your episodes before you started airing them? Those musical intermissions are often so terribly inappropriate that it just hurts to listen to them. Seriously.

Well… I got that out. Finally. Now I know how thousands of ‘reviewers’ felt when they cranked out their opinions on Rotten Tomatoes, lowering the score to an abysmal 22% audience score. The critics were a little bit more lenient, as proven by the 53% critical score. Now, it does go without saying that Rotten Tomatoes does no background checks whatsoever. People going apeshit might have just joined the bandwagon without actually watching the show. But still, after sitting through the entire ordeal, I can relate to the numbers.

So… Netflix, if you’re reading this, maybe leave the big Resident Evil nametag off next time. Your show might have gotten less scrutiny if you would have advertised it as another generic zombie apocalypse series. Because this has got very little to do with Resident Evil. Not even the iconic Umbrella logo, the lickers, and the last-minute reference to Ada Wong can fix that.