Mortal Kombat movie cuts Johnny Cage to prevent a dick-measuring contest

Okay, we all know Johnny Cage. He’s rude, obnoxious, and a total dickweed. In the end, he’s just plain old Johnny Cage, and that’s a problem for the new Mortal Kombat movie. According to producer Todd Garner, there’s only room for one giant douchebag. Kano scored that part this time. Therefore, Johnny Cage is caged for a change.

It feels kinda weird to think about it, a Mortal Kombat without Johnny Cage. Johnny has been around forever, making inappropriate moves on Sonja Blade and finicking with his sunglasses. But then again, so has Kano, the laser-eyed merc with a knack for bowie knives. Both have a certain pizzazz over them and the creators of the new Mortal Kombat movie feel like there’s only room for one prankster.

“The reason we held back Johnny Cage is he is a very egotistical guy. He’s a scoundrel, he’s funny, he’s bigger than life… and so is Kano. So you go, ‘Alright, are we gonna just gonna have two guys competing to [see who can] out-funny each other and out-ego each other in this movie? Or do you hold Johnny Cage back?”

Garner makes a fair point, but it has to be tough on Johnny’s fans worldwide. The creators of the original Mortal Kombat movie didn’t seem to worry about an on-screen dick-measuring contest because they both starred in that one. Admittedly, Johnny had a way bigger part to play in the 1995 edition. We’ll grant this one to the laser-eyed killer. Kano wins! Let’s just hope he gets fucked up in round two, and we’ll all be happy campers, right?

In other news, Warner Bros. was kind enough to upload another Mortal Kombat movie trailer a month ago. Aw yisss! It’s the kind of trailer no MK fan can neglect to watch since it stars Sub-Zero and Scorpion duking it out and a metric fuckton of bloody violence. Say bye-bye to T-ratings and Konichiwa to R-ratings. A big thanks to IGN for sharing it without YouTube’s embedded age restriction. Enjoy!

Mortal Kombat will hit HBO MAX and theaters on April 16, 2021, which gives Todd Garner just a little bit of time to FINISH IT!