Halo Infinite goes ape over Juneteenth by being inappropriate

Companies have to be so clever nowadays if they want to convey their inclusiveness. Showing sympathy is like walking in a minefield. Before you know it… BAM!… you’re fucked and you’ve become the thing you swore to fight. Take 343 Industries. The team behind Halo Infinite feels for our differently pigmented individuals with African roots. And it wants to express that by granting them a unique cosmetic for Juneteenth. But it turns out that it’s spelled sympathizing, not chimpathizing.

Before we kick off, y’all of course know what Juneteenth stands for, right? It might be hard to imagine, but African-Americans used to get treated like shit. Really. They were treated as if they weren’t even human. In shackles and everything, given just enough room to pick cotton and stuff. But that shit ended in 1865 when slavery got abolished and America truly became the land of the free. Even if you’re African-American.

So yeah, you can imagine that Juneteenth might be special to some. And big companies are more than willing to sympathize as long as it’s making them a shit ton of money necessary to end inequality. So why not show your sympathy by celebrating and putting exclusive cosmetics into your game? I mean, what can go wrong? It’s just a color palette. There’s literally nothing that you can do to accidentally offend anyone. Except you can, apparently.

Now that’s a big bo-“no-no”

You see, we’re not all David Attenborough here. But by naming a color palette after a bonobo – an endangered primate species – you’re asking for a hurtin’. Because when has any African-American in the history of man EVER appreciated monkey references? M-hmmm. See what I mean? Even 343 Industries got it at some point. That’s why Bonnie Ross took one for the team and went on Twitter to apologize.

Way to go, 343. Good job! At least you were smart enough to leave any cotton-picking references behind. Plus, you didn’t fall for the treacherous Kool-Aid color palette. Not that it matters now…