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Geoff Keighley on Gamescom “Expect the unexpected”

According to professional optimist Geoff Keighley, Gamescom 2022 ain’t playing second fiddle. The German convention has no E3 shadow to stand in this time, granting it the perfect opportunity to set up shop big time. And it will, says Geoff, because there will be “plenty of cool surprises and unexpected things”. As long as it doesn’t include surprise buttsex, that’s cool. I mean, with monkeypox and all. We don’t need another pandemic, Geoff.

Of course, Geoff is merely trying to sell you a ticket to ONL (Opening Night Live), which takes place on August 25. But let’s just say we’re inclined to believe the “OMG, this is the greatest game ever. I’m so excited” guy for a minute. Let’s give Geoff a chance to explain why Gamescom 2022 – and ONL in particular – will be super special.

“More than 20 games will be on stage: it’s going to be a big spectacle. We have some very cool guests that are coming to Germany to join us on stage as well to reveal their games and showcase new content.

“We have a mix of games that have already been announced and a fair number of new games announced as well.

“We’ve got some good stuff. We haven’t really announced the line-up of companies that will be there, but I think we’ve got some cool surprises and things that I think people wouldn’t expect to be there… There are a lot of games. We’re going to have 2 hours of content to show you [including] gameplay clips, trailers, and announcements.

“This year is a lighter year for releases that are coming out later this year, so a lot of stuff will be about what’s coming in 2023 and beyond. But yeah, I think people will be hyped and I’m very excited for fans to see stuff and be in the room.”

goats simulator 3 at gamescom 2022
Geoff promises that ONL is worth your while and it’ll probably float your goat

While we are now all super stoked to find out what those surprises are, some have already been disclosed. For starters, SEGA might just attempt to explain what Sonic Frontiers really is. Because honestly, the only reason why we’re hating it is plain ignorance. And if you’re looking to see what the GOAT game is all about, say no more. Goat Simulator 3 will also graze the German pastures at the Koelnmesse.

Goddamnit, Geoff! You got me all excited again. You better bring something substantial to the table, man. Because if not, I’m going to dislike you even more. JK, Geoff. I don’t hate you (that much). If we’d have more overly enthusiastic folks like you, we’d probably achieve world peace.

See you in Cologne!